TIGER BLOOD

Charlie Sheen is Clean T-Shirt, £15

On his prediliction for porn stars: "They're the best at what they do and I'm the best at what I do. And together it's like, it's on. Sorry, Middle America. Yeah, I said it."

On his natural high: "I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."

On his talent. “I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars.”

On losing custody of his children to ex Brooke Mueller. "Tiger blood will drip from my veins in my quest. Defeat is not an option. She is an absolute traitor and she must be banished. She will be living under a bridge, toothless and confused.

On his daily routine. "It's perfect. It's awesome. Every day is just filled with just wins. All we do is put wins in the record books. We win so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it's scary."